Drag queen or transsexual?

You decide...

Cheryl sings... adequately

Cheryl Cole's performance for her debut solo single on The X Factor tonight was adequate, nothing more. It certainly was not "incredible" as Simon Cowell said.

If she had not been already known, that performance would not have got her through to bootcamp. Newspapers ranted about whether she would sing live or mime - yes, whether someone who sings for a living would be able to actually sing live!

I am sure Cheryl is a canny lass but a great singer, she most certainly ain't.

Louis Walsh should be a professional

Time for Louis Walsh to be a professional and get back to doing what he is paid for - being a judge on The X Factor.

It was unprofessional of him to take time off. What happened to that old showbiz maxim "The show must go on"?

He didn't lose a relative - not his father, mother, brother, sister nor a wife (okay, unlikely in Louis's case, but you get the point).

As Irving Berlin wrote, "You get word before the show has started
That your favourite uncle died at dawn
And top of that, your pa and ma have parted
You're broken-hearted, but you go on".

Come on Louis, be a professional.

Madness, music and Michael Jackson

Has the world gone completely mad?

Last night Michael Jackson should have played the first of 50 gigs at the Millennium Dome - something that was never going to happen even if he had been alive.

Fans gathered there in full Jackson fig to pay tribute to the dead pederast.

Michael Lewis, 25, a retail manager from north London, dressed in full Jackson stage costume, spent more than £1,000 for concert tickets for seven dates.

He said: 'I’m a member of a fan club and we’ve been holding vigils outside HMV in Piccadilly Circus, but the O2 is now the real focus. I think there will be fans meeting here for the whole of the 50 nights he was meant to perform."

Vigils outside a record shop?

The lot of them ought to be sectioned.

Stating the obvious...

Breaking news today:

Michael Jackson and Debbie Rowe 'are not biological parents of any of his children'

In other news the Chief Rabbi is Jewish, the Pope is Catholic and bears like to defecate in woody areas.

She is heavy, she's my son

Chastity Bono, Cher's daughter, is apparently going to have a sex change operation.

Neil Giuliano, president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, said: "Coming out as transgender is an extremely personal decision and one that is never made lightly."

Judging by the size of her, I doubt anything she does is done lightly.

I thought airline security restrictions had eased...

Next weekend my wife is going home to visit her family. We have been packing her suitcase and bearing in mind the still draconian "security" measures in force.

You’re welcome to take drinks in cans, bottles, plastic containers and cartons, but these can’t be over 100ml.

How many drinks "cans, bottles, plastic containers and cartons" are less than 100ml? A normal can of Coke is 330ml.

The guidelines add: "Remember, once through security you can buy drinks in the departure area to take on to the plane."

Call me cynical but what is the betting that when my wife gets through security the drinks in the departure area will be vastly more expensive than those she could have bought in Tesco or Sainsbury's prior to getting to the airport?

I will keep you posted...