Jodie, be yourself - if you know who that is

Jodie Marsh has appeared on television saying that she was bullied so much at school that she contemplated suicide. She said that when she was 15 she decided to become model to prove to her tormentors that she was not ugly.

Miss Marsh came to fame in a programme called Essex Wives even though at the time she was still a spinster. From that she began appearing in lads' mags and at various premières and other events wearing as few clothes as possible.

She had a feud with Jordan and regaled the tabloids with tales of her very full sex life, even at one stage rating some of her lovers out of ten. She is apparently obsessed with sex. Her constant jabbering about the subject on Celebrity Big Brother resulted in her being the first evictee.

It would seem that the bullying stemmed from the appearance of her nose after a hockey accident. I'm not quite sure how the bulbous effect at the bottom resulted from it being broken but I'm not a doctor so I'm sure that can happen although I've never seen anyone else with such a feature after their nose was broken.

Appearing on This Morning towards the end of last year, Jodie promoted her new show about how she has transformed her body into that of a bodybuilder in just a few weeks. Host Phillip Schofield asked if it had all been just for the show. Jodie indignantly replied, "I wouldn't do this just for a television programme." A strange response from a woman who after all got married for a television show.

I am not a fan of bodybuilding and am not quite sure what to make of Jodie Marsh's body now. Yet Jodie was never ugly. She had a great body before the plastic surgery that inserted two huge fake breasts and she can tone down the muscles if she chooses but why oh why has she got all these ghastly tattoos over her body? Once the preserve of sailors and criminals, it seems everyone is getting them done. Her left arm is covered in tattoos; she has them on her lower stomach, the backs of her calves and I hate to think where else. They are ugly, classless and will look even more awful in a few years when her skin starts to age.

Jodie Marsh seems a nice, young woman but her overriding desire for fame seems to be making her unhappy despite her protestations to the contrary. Madonna may succeed in reinventing herself every few years but Jodie is no Madonna. Madonna can sing and dance if not act especially well. Jodie can't sing, can't dance and probably can't act and her reinventions are becoming ever more desperate. We have had Jodie the table dancer, Jodie the Page 3 girl, Jodie the kiss'n'teller, Jodie the reality TV star, Jodie the lesbian, Jodie the bodybuilder - what next for the Essex girl?

I just hope that one day she can be truly happy with who and what she is - if she ever finds out exactly what that is.