Jonathan, hello honky tonks!!

So Jonathan Ross is back at the BBC after his suspension.

I know he has an eccentric dress style but what a charlie he looks!! Shades of Dick Emery...still I suppose if anyone else upsets him he can always hit them with his handbag.

Will Jonathan Ross's career survive?

Well, Russell Brand has left the building along with the controller of Radio 2 - and about time, too.

But what about the 25-year-old buffoon of a producer Nic (sic) Phillips? Why is he still in a job? He was the one who rang Andrew Sachs to ask if they could broadcast the segment and was told no, but went ahead anyway.

And Jonathan Ross is now £1.4million out of pocket. I am still at a loss as to why he did what he did although perhaps a clue comes from the title of his new book, the presciently titled Why Do I Say These Things?

We discussed the furore on Wednesday in the pub. With a number of abstentions, three people (all men) thought that what Brand and Ross did was disgusting while the dissenting voice came from a woman (over 40, not in Brand's target demographic) who thought it was all overblown. I asked what part of making three obscene phone calls to a 78-year-old man unknown to the callers did she find socially, morally or legally acceptable? Answer came there none...

Time for Russell Brand to disappear into the obscurity he so desperately deserves

Why does the BBC give house room to the talentless waste of space that is Russell Brand?

It emerges today that he rang the actor Andrew Sachs to boast that he had slept with his granddaughter, Georgina.

Brand was presenting his show with Jonathan Ross who really ought to know better. Brand said: ‘In a minute we’re going to be talking to Andrew Sachs, Manuel actor. The elephant in the room is, what Andrew doesn’t know is, I’ve slept with his granddaughter.’

When Mr Sachs did not answer the phone Brand and Ross left a message on his answerphone and then called back.

Brand said: ‘I wore a condom.’ In another, which took the form of an impromptu song, Brand sang: ‘I’d like to apologise for the terrible attacks, Andrew Sachs . . . I said some things I didn’t of oughta, like I had sex with your granddaughter, though it was consensual . . . it was consensual lovely sex. It was full of respect, I sent her a text, I’ve asked her to marry me, Andrew Sachs.’

Normally the show is live but that episode was pre-recorded. Amazingly, according to the BBC, ‘a senior editorial figure signed off the programme, including its strong language, before it was broadcast’.

Brand is an idiot who has form for making an arse of himself. In July he made a prank call to Northamptonshire Police, claiming he had spotted a sex attacker. And in 2006, he became embroiled in a public row with Rod Stewart after boasting at an awards ceremony that he had slept with the rocker’s daughter, Kimberly.

And don't forget the prat he made of himself on Have I Got News For You and when presenting an awards show in America.

When Marty Feldman left Round the Horne he left a note for the cast, "If you've got talent, you don't need luck.... good luck Marty."

So in hoping the BBC get shot of Brand, I'd like to say "Good luck, Russell."